An important message

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This is my daughter’s new (from yesterday) tattoo. A very important message.

For those of you who do not know, the semi-colon is a symbol for suicide awareness. The butterfly can be a symbol of rebirth. And the words speak for themselves.

The most crucial message to teach our children is love. Especially loving oneself. And in order to teach this, the parent must live it.

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Whispers

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Pain and sorrow rode with us to the church that day. My fully engorged breasts reminded me of what I had lost. Most of the day was a blur. A moment of my eldest daughter’s face filled with questions. All others wore somber expressions. People had no idea what to say on occasions like those. What do you say to a mother who lost her child before even meeting her little one?

My mother walked to the back of the SUV. The gentleman from the funeral home pulled the tiny white casket out of the back and handed it to my mother. Part of me still wishes I had done this last one thing for my baby. At the time, I was afraid of falling. Not just by tripping. I was afraid my whole being would break.

The days leading up to the moment Mom put the casket down were horrendous. I lost my child and nearly lost my husband in the process. People made the effort to comfort me, give me advice. Even if a person has had a miscarriage or stillbirth cannot understand completely what goes through the mind of another.

His cousin had told me to do a c-section. He told me how many losses she’d had. I didn’t give one ounce about what she had to say. Not once was she twenty-eight weeks along. My baby was a fully formed human being when I held her breathless body in my aching arms. No one has lived my life. No other person could feel what I was feeling in that one instant that changed my life.

Gratitude

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I am grateful for my feet for even with pain, they allow me to stand up for my family and friends.

I am grateful for my legs that help me to get to my daughter when she needs me.

I am grateful for my arms as they help me show affection with hugs to my beloved ones.

I am grateful to you for reading my books, my posts, and still being my friend, confidant, reader, or whatever relationship we have.

I wish I could pay back all the kindness you have shown me. All I can do is say, “Thank You.”

Easter

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The high holy season of the religion into which I was born. While I know the story and I hope we do go to heaven and see those who have gone before us, I can’t say that this season gives me peace. It’s the opposite for me.

My darling Baby Maggie, Maria Magdelena DeLeon, named after her grandmother, was lost to us Easter Monday at twenty-eight precious weeks. She grew wings before I was able to hear her cry.

My tears still come although now I do not turn into a sobbing mess the way I did those first few months, even years after we “lost” her.

In the heaven I believe it, there are no tears, no pain, no fear. I hope one day to see her again but not until I am done here with her sister.

Blessings this season to you and your family!

 

Differences

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How you treat others who are different defines who you are!

When you see a person who is a head taller than you, do you stare? If someone in a wheelchair is struggling to open a door, do you help them? Your child comes home and says they “like” a person of a different race, how do you react? The new neighbor has a Ferrari, should you assume they are a snob? Your best friend tells you he decided to quit his job as a lawyer and join a traveling road show, do you think he’s crazy? A co-worker confides in you about questioning their orientation, do you spread rumors? And the man down the street hangs up a confederate flag, how do you react? What if the flag is a rainbow instead?

The old saying, “don’t judge a book…” isn’t just a clever cliche. What’s on the inside is much more important than the leather sleeve or glossy cover.

 

Got that right!

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