Poem of Loss

Just came from the Doctor

The fears are all true

My baby making days are over

Oh what shall I do

I’ve misplaced my menses

I was hoping, you see

For one more pregnancy

One more baby for me

Shit Fuck

Hell and Damn

The are no words

To explain that I am

So damn fucking mad

at my husbrat you see

For it is his fault

There’ll be no more babies for me

In 2006

At the age of 43

We lost a sweet Angel

In God’s arms she’ll be

For the rest of her life

To fly with wings

With the other Angels of God

And with them to sing

He pissed me off so

When he thought of himself

“I’ll not spit in a cup

Not give up my stuff.”

Like cumming in a cup

was degrading to a man

What about the dildo u/s

The doctor held in his hand

No fertility treatments

For this couple in need

To fill the void

To distinguish a need

My Maggie’s in Heaven

And I will never see

Her grow up to be

A better woman than me.

I feel so broken

So empty So vile

I know this is a natural passage

But I can’t reconcile

My body had betrayed me

Yet once again

I am left with a space

I can not pretend

I love my daughter Jules

She is precious to me

But I can not help thinking

What a great Big Sister she’d be

It saddens me to know

It pains me to see

Her talk to her winged sister

With no response from she

Yet watch her I must

And learn from it too

She grieves for her sister

Much differently than I do

I cry at night

Or when I’m alone

J smiles and giggles

When she is in the Maggie Zone

I watch her talk

To Maggie it’s true

They play little games

And say I love you

I wish I could be

So Much more like J

To laugh with Maggie

To run and to play

With my sweet Angel

So far away

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6 thoughts on “Poem of Loss”

  1. I’m so sorry for your family’s loss, M-E.

  2. So sorry you had to experience that kind of heartbreak. That was beautifully written.

  3. Tears. Hugs.

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