If time travel were possible, I know to what time I’d return. At least one point in time. There are circumstances I would not like to visit again. Who wants to go through their teenage years, or the death of loved ones again? Well, that second one…
I’m getting either lazy or frustrated with posting every day. My apologies. Too much packing. High anxiety. And battling lack of sleep. I feel lost and alone even though I know there are people around who can help. I just hate to ask. They have lives too! Far be it from me to take them away from their responsibilities to help with the mess that is my life.
I cannot wait to get out of this house now. I want to wave my magic wand and make it all happen today. I want to be in the other house, sleeping in a bed, and unpacked. I want to be settled.
Thanksgiving went fine except that I missed Mom terribly. I cried. I just could not prevent it. I still feel very sad. I miss talking to her. I miss just knowing she was there.
Anyway, life goes on and so must I. Even when I feel like I have no strength left. I must push forward.
The days are getting shorter and it seems I have more to do. Today is the pre-Thanksgiving luncheon at work. Have my pasta salad ready to go! It’s pretty good, taste tested it myself.
Not sure if the family is doing Thanksgiving this year. Mom’s house is a mess because of the move. Mine is the same. And really, without Mom, I don’t care either way.
Friday I will probably be moving stuff to Mom’s house to save money on the movers. The more I bring now, the less they’ll have to take.
The day after I move, I am having someone come clean the house so it will be market ready. I cannot wait to get out of here, but I will be leaving some ghosts for sure.
On to better days…
This thinking about something to write everyday can get tedious.
Anyhoo… J brought some stuff over to Mom’s house. I think I’m going to keep calling it that for a while. Mom’s house. She was the only owner, so I still think of it as hers even though I own 1/3 of it. Someday I will call it my own.
Getting quotes from movers, getting my house power-washed, cleaning, packing, etc. Lots of work to do and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. So, if anyone has any words of wisdom, please pass it along!
My brothers and SILs have done so much work with cleaning up Mom’s house I feel guilty asking them to help me.
Although my “having a moment” moments have decreased, they have not faded. I think they never will. Something happens and I want to tell Mom but she’s not there.
Grief is odd. It is different for everyone. It ebbs and flows, pulls you down, twists your thoughts, then reminds you that life goes on. Chin up, shoulders back, pasted smile on face and move on…
You don’t get over loss. The way loss makes you feel just changes over time.