If time travel were possible, I know to what time I’d return. At least one point in time. There are circumstances I would not like to visit again. Who wants to go through their teenage years, or the death of loved ones again? Well, that second one…
Exhausted emotionally and mentally. Cannot wait for the move to be over. But on the bright side, while cleaning out Mom’s house, my brother found some Mother’s Day cards I had given to Mom. I just found them on the kitchen table at Mom’s house as we brought over a few boxes. So, it seems I told mom quite a few times how much she meant to me. How I would not be here if it weren’t for all that she’s done for me over the years. It made me feel good to know I told her more than once how important she is/was to me.
Mom you were the one person I could ALWAYS count on no matter what. Even when we disagreed you tried to understand me.
Love and miss you so much!
I’m getting either lazy or frustrated with posting every day. My apologies. Too much packing. High anxiety. And battling lack of sleep. I feel lost and alone even though I know there are people around who can help. I just hate to ask. They have lives too! Far be it from me to take them away from their responsibilities to help with the mess that is my life.
I cannot wait to get out of this house now. I want to wave my magic wand and make it all happen today. I want to be in the other house, sleeping in a bed, and unpacked. I want to be settled.
Thanksgiving went fine except that I missed Mom terribly. I cried. I just could not prevent it. I still feel very sad. I miss talking to her. I miss just knowing she was there.
Anyway, life goes on and so must I. Even when I feel like I have no strength left. I must push forward.
Stuff, stuff, and more stuff. I have accumulated so much over my lifetime. I’ve decided it doesn’t make me happy.
I went through some old Christmas stuff and decided to get rid of it. I know buried among the ornaments are ones from Mom either passed down or bought for me. I’d rather have Mom then all this stuff. I am keeping the Christmas village houses that I made and a couple of nutcrackers but that’s it. I haven’t touched this stuff since before Sally and she’s 12 years old!
So, if anyone thinks I’m nuts, so be it. I could probably make a little cash selling it but I just don’t have the energy or time to do so. I think tossing or donating it would make me happier.
Remember this when your kid says they want something. How long will it last? Will it give them joy? Or will it collect dust and eventually be tossed.
Had a dream about Nana and Mom this morning. I miss them both. I miss the chats, the cooking, everything. There are still times I want to dial the phone and hear their voices. But I know they are with me always.
I have a few guardian angels up there now. Maggie, Mom, Nana, Gramma. They are all watching over me.
Do you believe in angels?